Life’s complexities often overwhelm us, as if external forces control our experiences. However, while we can’t control everything that happens, we have absolute power over our thoughts and actions. This shift in perspective is crucial for navigating healthy mindsets, creating systems that build the right actions, and finding peace amidst life’s many stresses.
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” —Viktor Frankl
These words by holocaust survivor and author of ‘Man’s Search for Meaning,’ penned in 1945, may be the most powerful self-help sentences ever written. In their simplest form they say that regardless of external factors, we control only two things: our thoughts and our actions. We cannot control what happens in our lives, but we can always control what we think and do. We choose based on our thoughts and depending on the actions of our response, we grow our mental freedom and ultimately the meaning and happiness we derive.
What you control:
You may be thinking, “Surely, I control other things in my life. What about things like making my sales goals at work? It’s important, and I will do whatever is needed to meet the goal?” Just because you work hard doesn’t mean you control the result. With the right attitude (thoughts), you do the work (actions) to best sell to prospects. This will influence the outcome. But you cannot control things like the timing and selection preferences of others who make buying decisions. The final result is not within your control.
Other things you may be concerned about fall outside of any influence. No amount of effort can affect things like the weather. You cannot change the past and people can act as they wish. Most of us who are not Federal Reserve Chairs or Elon Musk will not influence stocks or the economy.
Cultivating ‘Space’: Tools for a Healthier Mindset
In the ensuing 80 years, many scholars have attempted to explain what best should occupy the ‘space’ Frankl identifies. Throughout the years they have suggested we adopt tools that use:
Internal Locus of Control, Julian Rotter, 1954 —Creates the power to act through belief in having control of your fate, over the belief that external forces drive your life.
Self-efficacy, Albert Bandura, 1970s —Emphasizes that it’s not just about having control over our thoughts and environment, but also about believing in our capacity to influence circumstances through sustained effort, regardless of setbacks or obstacles.
Ladder of Inference, Chris Argyris, 1974 —Makes explicit and creates awareness of how we add judgment and story to the available facts and data that influence our actions.
Be Proactive, Stephen Covey, 1989 —Focusing on what we can influence instead of being victims to things outside of our control empowers us to choose our response to any situation.
Radical Acceptance, Marsha Linehan, 1990 —Fully accepting reality as it is without judgment or resistance allows for letting go of the emotional struggle from fighting against things we cannot control and responding with more clarity.
Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman, 1995 —Understanding and managing emotions through better self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and social skills allows for more constructive responses.
Mindfulness, Dahli Lama, 1998 —Becoming more aware of our thoughts and emotions, enables us to choose responses based on compassion and kindness and create more positive and fulfilling interactions.
Growth Mindset, Carol Dweck, 2006 —Adopting a growth mindset where we believe that our abilities can be developed through effort and learning, encourages taking on challenges, remaining resilient, and achieving greater success.
Grit, Angela Duckworth, 2016 —Sustained effort through passion, practice, purpose, and hope, rather than talent alone, is key to overcoming obstacles and achieving long-term goals.
Extreme Ownership, Jocko Willink, 2020 —Taking full responsibility for team results, learning from failures, and proactively seeking solutions, even when others or external factors influence the outcome, generate the best results.
Focus Energy on What You Control
As the serenity prayer suggests, we should all have “… the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Frankl’s quote clarifies that we can and should make space to control our thoughts and resulting actions. Use this control to find meaning in both success and challenging circumstances and to take responsibility for creating a life that contributes based on your unique abilities and interests. With this focus, create more impact in the world. Master your inner world so that your actions create a ripple effect that extends outwards.
Make better use of the space between stimulus and response by:
- Acknowledging innate limitations and focusing your energy on what you can control (thoughts and actions)
Thoughts
- Choose to respond to challenges with a healthy mindset using one or more of the tools developed over the last 80 years that work best for you
- Move quickly from thoughts about “why is this happening” to “what can I do about this” to allow for clearer thinking and more effective problem-solving
- Find meaning for yourself to create your unique positive drive toward results
- Create themes and commitments for you and your business that prevent reactive actions
Actions
- Be intentional about the actions you take
- Build and grow skills to increase chances of success
- Make plans and be prepared to best work toward goals
- Adopt habits, routines, and systems that create actions aligned with your goals, values, vision, and purpose
By using healthy mindsets to master our thoughts and actions, we empower ourselves to navigate life with greater clarity, purpose, and peace of mind. We live happier, more productive, more meaningful lives. What occupies your space between stimulus and response?
May you adventure humbly while living boldly in the New Year.
Horizon Line Group 